-Henry Ford
i want a girlfriend who would watch scary movies with me + cuddle me when i was scared
i want a girlfriend who would eat all the cakes and cookies and brownies and cupcakes and just everything i make
i want a girlfriend who can teach me how to do the rubix cube
i want a girlfriend who’d watch friends
and sex and the city and buffy and angel and the mighty booshand all the other stupid tv programmes and movies i love with mei want a girlfriend who will make
teacoffee and look after me when im sick, but would let me do the same for heri just want a girlfriend tbh.
(via thegoldensnitch)
How fucked up I truly am. I won’t confide in you my troubles, though. I don’t know why I keep denying how sad and lonely I am. I guess it’s because my pride has gotten the best of me. Or maybe it’s because I don’t want you to help me, you already have so much on your own plate. I am utterly, and truly depressed and sad. I don’t want to wake up in the morning, i mean, how is this day going to be different? No one really cares about me. They just think they do. No one really would benefit from my presence, i don’t fit into anyone’s picture. Everyone is so different from me, i’m so messed up in the head. I’m have a quiet demeanor, and that prolongs even to when i’m alone. There are only short moments, maybe minutes, in which i’m truly happy. That I can talk about people and actually smile. Those are the moments in which I live for. For every other second, I think horrible things and let my emotions override everything else. All I do anymore is think about death, how society is so blind, and how i’m so alone I am. I don’t really know who’s my friends anymore. They act like my friend when i’m with them, but when they are with other people, they don’t even seem to notice me. & the moments where I actually go out and have fun with my friends, I over play the moment, over and over. I’m so replaceable. I’m a ball of contradiction: Everything I believe in, or stand for, contradicts each other. Often, I find myself wanting to be alone, but my biggest fear is that I grow up to be mentally insane. I want to get a job in the Behavioral Analysis Unit, and study the worst criminal behaviors out there, but what if I can connect with the criminals? Does that make me as bad as them? I don’t know.
I have these moments, throughout the day, where I look around me and I think to myself, “What if everything I see if all just a dream; or A figment of my imagination?” And I just stare at people, studying their faces, and wonder, “how come we are the way we are? Why are we so comfortable with one concept, but not the other? How do we know what one is right, and what is truly wrong?” My heart then drowns in loneliness, for I know I can’t share this with anyone if I actually want them to be my friend. You might be thinking, how do you know if they would think you’re mad? Well, i’ve confided in one of my friends a part of my madness. I told them about how I thought everything was a dream, and when i looked over to them, they looked at me with cautious eyes, as if they see a hazard in front of them. I didn’t trust anyone after that. I still don’t. Everyone is just so wrapped up in their own petty obsessions, & i’m always left in the background. I’m so done trying to fit in, that I just zone out when people talk about their love lives, or complaints. They don’t know how easy they have it.
It’s moment like these, where I completely come to grips with how i’m insane.
